Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
— Robert Benchley
The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself.
— Sir Richard Francis Burton
I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.
— Richard Jeni
Terrified of telephones and shopping malls and knives
and drowning in the pools of other lives.
Rely a bit too heavily on alcohol and irony.
Get clobbered on by courtesy.
In love with love and lousy poetry.
— John K. Samson
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know?
— Ernest Hemingway
I find it elevating and exhilarating to discover that we live in a universe which permits the evolution of molecular machines as intricate and subtle as we.
— Carl Sagan